There’s a saying about negative people, “misery loves company” and unknowingly we fall victim to their lies and deceit. Toxic people are clever and they pull you in by getting to know you, first. They listen to your problems, sympathize with you and sometimes give you advice you want to hear. However, while you’re pouring out your heart, they’re taking notes. They are trying to figure out your weakness, so they can exploit it! A toxic person purpose is to control you for their benefits. The trick is to know when someone is abusing your love. Once you are aware of such things, you will begin to decipher who is a true friend and who’s using you.It’s time to let go of negative friends!
Though, there have been studies on why toxic people “are the way they are,” we still haven’t figures out where it stems from. What is the common denominator? Some researchers said it can come from neglect as a child, or always being the center of attention as a kid. Some said it comes from lack of love from their youth, to learning at young age how to manipulate people. Their studies aren’t concrete but based on a toxic persons outlook towards life, some of the theories may be true.
I’ve compiled a list of different types of Toxic friends. Side Note: This list isn’t for the “faint” heart. It’s hard to accept that the people you love may be manipulating you for personal gain.
1. They Gossip about other people. A toxic person favorite thing to do is gossip about others. It’s what wakes them up in the morning and helps them sleep well at night. Toxic people will go out of their way to spread false lies on you and other friends.
2. They’re condescending. Have you ever had a friend who monitored everything you said or question your logic as if what you’re saying isn’t good enough? That’s because this type of negative person always think they know everything. Nothing you say could be good enough for them, yet whatever they say is right for you.
3. Crave the center of the Attention. Let’s say you go out with a toxic friend and have you notice that strangers tend to notice them. Strangers notice how loud they are, how their outfit purposely stands out and just overall do the craziest things to get attention. Usually their antics are not positive, nor are they a reflection of who you really are.
4. Drama Queens. It’s always something happening in a drama queen’s life. Whether it’s their boyfriend “of the month” who broke their heart, how they had to wait twenty whole minutes to talk customer service, or how their other friends ignore them. Drama queens want you to stop what you doing to listen to whatever trivial thing that happened to them.
5. Bad listeners. Toxic friends believe only their problems matter and interestingly enough, they talk too much. Your voice rarely gets its point across because you’re met with constant chatter. News flash to toxic friend: You are not a psychiatrist! You didn’t sign up to waste three hours of your life to listen to their issues.
6. Liars. Negative people love to lie about everything, from their lifestyle to the weather. They will lie about how they feel about you. They will lie about their true intentions. Overall, liars have a hard time facing reality so it’s better to live in a lie.
7. Untrustworthy. Have you ever told a secret to a toxic friend, only to find out later that everyone knows your secret? You approach toxic friend and they proceed to tell you how your secret wasn’t a big deal! Yet, just last month [insert toxic friends name] told you how much she values loyalty and how it is to find trustworthy friends.
8. Victim Mentality. These toxic people always blame others for their problems. It’s never their fault and they never own up to anything. Some of them are skilled at crying on que to sell their story. They want people to feel sorry for them and want you to curse at whoever hurt them.
9. You’re usually walking on egg shells. You have a hard time expressing yourself because they are easily offended by what you say. Most of the time you’re not saying or doing anything wrong, they just have a hard time accepting your truth.
10. They only reach out when they need you. You haven’t talk to toxic friend in weeks or months and as soon as your life begins to feel lighter and free, this toxic friend calls you out the blue to “catch up.” Usually they’re only reaching out due to their other friends ignoring them. So it’s easy to call the “available” friend, which is you.
11. Jealous of everything you have. You just received a promotion from work and you gleefully tell your friends, however your jealous friend finds a way to disregard your accomplishment. It’s as if what you achieved isn’t good enough to celebrate. It’s not you it’s them. The problem is they’re comparing their life to yours, which isn’t healthy. Instead of them being genuinely happy for you, they dismiss it to make themselves happy.
12. The two-faced friend. One minute your toxic friend is praising you about how well you look, toasting to your life accomplishments or how good of a friend you are and as soon as you leave, they call their other toxic friend to talk bad about you. It’s hard to figure out if you’re dealing with a two-faced friend but one clue is how they talk about their other friends with you.
What type of friend do you have?